Neurodiversity & Religious Harm
For some neurodivergent folks, being a part of a religious system can feel like a relief. The structured expectations and routines can provide comfort and stability. However, for others, these rigid practices can create harm and make finding a sense of belonging feel impossible. While everyone’s experiences are unique, I have found the following patterns in my work with individuals who are both neurodivergent and have lived through harmful religious experiences. Here are some of the challenges neurodiverse individuals experience in inflexible religious systems & how to find healing from these particular pains.
Pressure to Conform
Strict religious communities often have defined norms of behavior that come to be expected of all participants. For neurodivergent individuals, who may have unique ways of processing information, communicating, and interacting with the world, these expectations can feel impossible to meet. Some examples of this include being expected to sit through long services, give sustained attention to a sermon, or engage in a setting that can create sensory overwhelm (loud music, lots of people, shouting, chanting, etc). The pressure to conform can lead to feelings of inadequacy and shame, as neurodivergent individuals may feel that their inability to fit in is a personal failing rather than a difference in neurological wiring.
Feeling Misunderstood and Judged
In many strict religious groups, behaviors that are different from the established norm can be misunderstood or misinterpreted. Neurodivergent individuals might be judged for actions or reactions that are actually manifestations of their neurological differences. This lack of understanding can result in feeling alienated or isolated from the main group. The experiences of judgment can continue to increase feelings of shame. The judgment and misunderstanding of neurodivergent experiences can also lead to harmful interventions, where neurodivergent behaviors are seen as something to be corrected or disciplined rather than understood and accommodated.
While this list is not exhaustive, nor is it universal of each person’s experience. If you find yourself resonating with these experiences, there is hope.
How do I heal?
Professional Support: Working with a therapist who understands both neurodivergence and the complexities of religious trauma can be incredibly beneficial. Therapy can provide a safe space to process experiences, develop coping strategies, and work towards healing.
Self-Education and Advocacy: Learning about one's neurodivergence and advocating for oneself can be empowering. Understanding that neurodivergent traits can help shift the perspective from self-blame to self-acceptance.
Support Systems: Finding individuals within the community who are open-minded and supportive can make a significant difference. Getting support from others can help advocate for accommodations and create a more inclusive environment.
Making Your Religious Practice Your Own: If remaining a part of the religious practice is important for you, modifying the practice to suit your needs may help. This might include attending quieter services, bringing fidget toys, taking breaks when needed, or finding alternative ways to participate in the community.
Connecting with Neurodivergent Folks: Finding other neurodivergent individuals who share similar experiences can provide a sense of solidarity and understanding. Online forums, support groups, and social media communities can be valuable resources.
If you are navigating the impact of being neurodiverse in a tense, rigid, or harmful religious practice and need support, please reach out. Therapy can provide a safe, non-judgmental space to explore your experiences and develop strategies for coping and thriving. If you’re interested in beginning therapy, book a free 15-minute consultation with me using the button below!
